Letterman: Are you ready, Paul? Ты готов, Пол?

Paul: I'm so nervous. Я так нервничаю.

L: It's gonna be very exciting. Это должно быть очень стимулирует.

P: Very nervous. Очень нервничаю

L: After 16 years we are thrilled to welcome back our first guest. She is a television icon, an Academy Award nominee, a humanitarian, and a Broadway producer of The Color Purple, which opens tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...What the hell is that? In 20 years we haven't had a timpani. What, was that your idea? You scared the crap out of me!

P: I added...

LETTERMAN: Why didn't somebody tell me about that?

PAUL: I added a timpani –

LETTERMAN: Good lord!

PAUL: – for Oprah.

LETTERMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Oprah Winfrey. Watch your step. How are you doin'? Beautiful.

OPRAH: Oh, that was great!

LETTERMAN: Lovely!

OPRAH: Whoo!

LETTERMAN: How about that?

OPRAH: Thank you. Purple? Wearing purple.

LETTERMAN: That's right.

OPRAH: Is this sensational or what?

LETTERMAN: Yeah, that's very exciting. And, you know, I can't thank you enough. I really can't thank you enough. It means a great deal to me and I'm just very happy you're here.

OPRAH: Does it really?

LETTERMAN: Absolutely.

OPRAH: No, really. Does it really? I've been hearing for the past week you talking about it, and I didn't know if you were really serious or were you just doing your Dave thing.

LETTERMAN: Just doing my Dave thing!

OPRAH: Yeah.

LETTERMAN: No. Absolutely. I mean, you must know that for 16 years now –

 

OPRAH: 16 and a half.

LETTERMAN: – 16 and a half –

OPRAH: Yeah.

LETTERMAN: – virtually every week we've contacted you. I've tried to get a hold of you personally, so yes, absolutely, in terms of just wanting you to come back, it means a great deal to me. And considering everything that has transpired, it means even more to me.

OPRAH: Could you tell me please what has transpired? This...I am really so curious because for years I've heard you talk about – and now the press talks about – this big feud that we have.

LETTERMAN: Yes, yes.

OPRAH: I have never in my, had a moment feud with you –

LETTERMAN: Right. No --

OPRAH: – as far as I knew.

LETTERMAN: I think you're right about that.

OPRAH: I think it takes two people to feud.

LETTERMAN: Exactly.

OPRAH: I did not know we were feuding.

LETTERMAN: As far as I'm concerned it's not a feud because I think the world of you.

OPRAH: OK.

LETTERMAN: And I knew things were gonna be fine – as I mentioned earlier – when my son was born and just from out of nowhere comes this lovely tub of beautiful Harry's Book Club boos for me.

OPRAH: You know why? Because I felt you soften during that time. There was something that happened. I saw a light in your eye. I saw... For the first time – you know, “sweet” is not a word anyone would use to describe you. But I felt for just a moment that there was a sweetness there and, you know, I love books, and I wanted Harry to have his own book club.

LETTERMAN: It was the perfect gift.

OPRAH: Have you been reading to him?

LETTERMAN: Oh, yes.

OPRAH: OK.

 

 

LETTERMAN: And he loves books. And I don't know if this is good or bad, but so far, in the first two years, has shown no interest in television. He would rather, rather read the books.

OPRAH: Really?

LETTERMAN: Yeah, yeah.

OPRAH: What's your favorite of the books I sent?

LETTERMAN: Well, you can't go wrong with Runaway Bunny, can you?

OPRAH: No, you can't! Also, also, also my favorite, my favorite of that is Love You Forever.

LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.

OPRAH: Isn't that the sweetest story?

LETTERMAN: They're all great.

OPRAH: Yeah.

LETTERMAN: And it seems to me that all of them are written by Margaret Wise Brown.

OPRAH: A lot of them.

LETTERMAN: She's written every children's book ever.

OPRAH: A lot of them.

LETTERMAN: Now – God, you look great.

OPRAH: Thank you. I brought you a present.

LETTERMAN: A present?

OPRAH: I brought you a present. There it is. We put it back there. I brought you a present. Because I wanted you to know that it's really –

LETTERMAN: And in the show colors.

OPRAH: The color purple.

LETTERMAN: That's right.

OPRAH: And I wanted you to know it's really over, OK? Whatever it is you thought was happening –

LETTERMAN: OK.

OPRAH: – it's over.

LETTERMAN: Right.

 

 

OPRAH: There is no feud. There's only peace.

LETTERMAN: Peace and love?

OPRAH: Peace and love.

LETTERMAN: And admiration?

OPRAH: And admiration. Some of that too. Some of that too.

LETTERMAN: And, and I'll come to your house.

OPRAH: Yes!

LETTERMAN: And you'll come to my house.

OPRAH: Yes! I wanted you on!

LETTERMAN: It's gonna be great.

OPRAH: I wanted you on!

LETTERMAN: It's gonna be fantastic.

OPRAH: OK, open the present.

LETTERMAN: All right. Paul, how about a drum roll?

PAUL: Yeah. Here we go!

LETTERMAN: Ah, well! Here we go. Are you sure it's over?

OPRAH: No, it's over. It's over. Look, at what is says. Look, it's over.

LETTERMAN: Oh, my goodness. Well, this is, this is something lovely.

OPRAH: It says, “To Dave. Love Uma and Oprah.” And, “More love, Oprah.” There you go. “Love.” “More love.”

LETTERMAN: Boy, that's a beautiful photograph.

OPRAH: OK?

LETTERMAN: Now this raises the question –

OPRAH: Of.

LETTERMAN: – was this episode, the Academy Awards, when I referenced you –

OPRAH: No!

 

 

LETTERMAN: – was that a problem?

OPRAH: No, that was not a problem. But I did say –

LETTERMAN: It was a problem for me.

OPRAH: No, there is –

LETTERMAN: I'm glad you were all right!

OPRAH: What I had said about it was there is that moment – I mean, it's a billion people –

LETTERMAN: Oh, yeah.

OPRAH: – watching around the world.

LETTERMAN: Yeah, sure.

OPRAH: And you can see you moving toward – and I think, “Oh, no! Oh, no!”

LETTERMAN: “Please don't bother me.”

OPRAH: Yeah, “Please don't bother me.”

LETTERMAN: I can see how you would feel that way.

OPRAH: And then all you said was, “Uma, Oprah.” I thought it was funny, but –

LETTERMAN: Well, you were the one.

OPRAH: Yes.

LETTERMAN: Boy, I just – you know, I'm – first of all, this theater: did this mean anything to you when you were a kid watching television, The Ed Sullivan Theater?

OPRAH: Oh, yeah. It is, for me it was watching Diana Ross –

LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.

OPRAH: – and The Supremes.

LETTERMAN: Yeah. Right.

OPRAH: We were called “colored people” then, you know --

LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.

OPRAH: – we were, back in the day. And it was so extraordinary that you ended up not even watching TV because you were calling everybody going, “Colored people, colored people, colored people and colored people on!” So that was in this theater. You know!

LETTERMAN: Wow!

 

 

OPRAH: Because there were so few of us on TV at the time. So we're so excited. I remember the first night they were on. Do you?

LETTERMAN: I don't know if I remember the first night. But I remember watching Ed Sullivan, you know, for like 5, 10 years in a row every Sunday night with the family. That was it.

OPRAH: Absolutely.

LETTERMAN: That's exactly what we did.

OPRAH: Did you watch the first night with the Beatles?

LETTERMAN: Absolutely.

OPRAH: Yeah, I was watching that too.

LETTERMAN: Right here on this stage. Diana Ross, the Beatles – everybody. There is a – I want you, if you don't mind, to tell me this story I read. It had something to do with you as a young girl wanting a new pair of eyeglasses.

OPRAH: Oh –

LETTERMAN: Does this ring a bell?

OPRAH: Yeah, you know, I was – I had some issues as a kid –

LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.

OPRAH: – and, you know, I've grown out of all those things, yeah, but I had broken some glasses. Because I had these awful you don't have a picture of it, right?

LETTERMAN: No.

OPRAH: OK. You know those awful cat-eyed glasses?

LETTERMAN: Kids' glasses.

OPRAH: They were awful. Mine were bifocal, and I wanted a new pair and my mother couldn't afford it, so I broke them and staged a robbery and put myself in the hospital and pretended to have amnesia when she came to see me.

LETTERMAN: Now let's slow down here.

OPRAH: But I've grown out of that.

LETTERMAN: Let's slow down here. You bring up some fascinating points. One, you staged a robbery.

OPRAH: Yeah.

LETTERMAN: You phonied up a robbery of your own home.

OPRAH: Yeah, I did because I thought that – she'd told me, “Don't accidentally fall down and break them.”

LETTERMAN: Yeah.

OPRAH: So I needed to do something else. So I thought if somebody broke in the house, hit me over the head –

 

 

LETTERMAN: That's right.

OPRAH: – knocked me out –

LETTERMAN: And busted your glasses.

OPRAH: – and they broke my glasses...I know it sounds... It was at 13. I was 13.

LETTERMAN: And so, then you went to the hospital.

OPRAH: Yes. And I'm in the hospital and I had seen a Marcus Welby, M.D. episode where the people had had amnesia – this is very true; it's not even sensationalized at all. And so I went, I'm in the hospital and my mother comes in the hospital and she says – she's all, “Oh, my Lord! My baby! My child!.” And the doctor said, “We don't know what happened to her. Somebody knocked her in the head and they broke her glasses.”

LETTERMAN: “So she'll need a new pair.”

OPRAH: My mom said, “They broke her glasses.” And she asked the doctor to leave the room and had one of those moments that negro mothers can have with their children. Something like, “Get you black so-and-so up out of the bed,” you know.

LETTERMAN: Now this was while you were claiming to have amnesia as well?

OPRAH: Yes. No, what happened was my mother said, so the doctor said to her, “Somebody hit her in the head, broke her glasses. She doesn't know or remember anything.” So that's when my mother said, “Leave.” And she said, “So you don't know who I am?” And I said, “No, ma'am. I have amnesia.”

LETTERMAN: Yeah! Uh-huh!

OPRAH: And she said -- no, no, she said, “I'm gonna give you about 3 seconds to remember.” So she starts counting, she's coming closer to the bed. She says, “One, two, three.” I go, “It's coming back to me now! You're my mother!”

LETTERMAN: That's right! “You're my mom!” We'll be right back here with Oprah Winfrey, everybody.