A psychiatrist examines a patient:
Психиатр спрашивает у пациента:
"How many legs does the dog have?"
"Сколько ног у собаки?"
"Four", answer the patient.
"Четыре", отвечает пациент.
"And how many eyes does it have?"
А сколько глаз у собаки?
"Two".
"Две"
"And what about its ears?"
"А как насчет ушей?"
"Excuse me, doctor, but haven't you ever seen a dog before?"
"Извините, доктор, разве Вы не нидели никогда собаки?"
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Be careful!
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be
careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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If you want breakfast in the bed
If you want breakfast in the bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Если ты хочешь кофе в постель, спи на кухне.
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A wife's Christmas gift
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
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